pouring out to you.

Before I started my blog I didn't know what it was all about I thought maybe if I post things that I was doing and how I lived my life it would be a great outlet for me in a positive way. I sat and tried to plan every post, which none of them came out how I pictured. But one thing I know for sure this blog has become sort of an online diary for me. I'm able to share my outlook on life, writing and journaling has become so important to me in my life. While I post on here i'm able to share things that goes on in my head. My main goal is to be able to help someone through my post, even if it's just one person.
I find myself getting lost in my own thoughts, I know that when i'm in a negative mind set I need to slow down my thoughts and remind myself that the problem is only big because i'm feeding it, therefore it is growing. Look, i'm not saying disregard it but I am saying this, take it for what it is if you can try to think of a solution do so but if you can't slow down and try to come up with one.
I am guilty of overthinking and giving myself anxiety with a lot in my life. If i feel like i'm not in control, i'm out of control and I will try to grab hold of the situation which makes it worst. Relaxing my mind of these thoughts will have to be practice for me, because it is something I would like to change in my life.

I use to say i'm use to being disappointed, let down or hurt by someone I fell in love with. All of which I thought was negative, as time passed I've come to realize that it was all a blessing in disguised. Every hardship that I couldn't control had become my pain, struggling to live with it because I felt like there was nothing I can do. I learned that without those pain in my life I wouldn't be where I am today. Yeah life can be better or completely different but I am truly thankful for my life. Those "pains" has taught me life is full I control every aspect of myself! I can live a bad life or a happy life so why choose bad? I feel like there is always something to be thankful for and everyday I wake up I will start my day telling myself that. I WILL choose to live happy and not bad.

it's your life you choose how you'd like to live it.

Enjoy the Little Things.

There are a lot of people my age who saw their life completely different from when they were kids growing up, I will admit I am one of those people. Having kids, being married and having a career by this age was what I saw and that isn't the case. I went to school thinking I wanted to be a teacher, a counselor, then a person trainer. I've changed my mind a million times and ended up with a general studies degree and not using it. Determined to figure it out I looked into personal training programs, tried other jobs just anything I thought might filled my life and make my future (what I thought) would be better. I was hard on myself the more and more I was letting days just pass by and I still, didn't have the career, or married with kids at the age of 26. I was constantly surrounded by friends that had kids, or had bigger dreams than I could imagine and some in happy relationships. I now realize I've tried so hard to be in control of my future and my life that I wasn't able to enjoy it. I was always finding myself disappointed and unable to fulfill my life with the type of happiness I saw others had, and that was what I based mine on. I thought I should've had more by now, Learning that making the best of everyday as best as you can is where I need to be in my life. I've taken up reading, hikes, photography and of course blogging all that I enjoy. I will always want more for myself and when I find out what that is I will strive for it, but in the meantime I will enjoy my life day to day and make more time for people that are important to me, working hard, and taking time for myself. Don't be in such a rush to figure everything out. Embrace your moment and life will and can surprise you.