imperfect

At times I would ask myself why I started all this? 
I use to tell myself it was an outlet for everything I was "interested" in but i think it's really for me to share on here as if it was like my diary or journal.
I like to journal, it's where I can be imperfect just get to blurt out everything I feel. I get to put it out to the universe and hope it'll help me or maybe someone else... 
all my life my mentors and some of my friends would tell me this is the best outlet to let everything out in my head. to be honest with you, I was scared for the judgement I would probably get, but i wasnt suppose to care.
I was doing this for me.


Its okay not to be perfect, we set standards too high where it's almost impossible to accomplish we lose sight of everything we've already accomplished now getting lost in the bigger picture. 

pouring out to you.

Before I started my blog I didn't know what it was all about I thought maybe if I post things that I was doing and how I lived my life it would be a great outlet for me in a positive way. I sat and tried to plan every post, which none of them came out how I pictured. But one thing I know for sure this blog has become sort of an online diary for me. I'm able to share my outlook on life, writing and journaling has become so important to me in my life. While I post on here i'm able to share things that goes on in my head. My main goal is to be able to help someone through my post, even if it's just one person.
I find myself getting lost in my own thoughts, I know that when i'm in a negative mind set I need to slow down my thoughts and remind myself that the problem is only big because i'm feeding it, therefore it is growing. Look, i'm not saying disregard it but I am saying this, take it for what it is if you can try to think of a solution do so but if you can't slow down and try to come up with one.
I am guilty of overthinking and giving myself anxiety with a lot in my life. If i feel like i'm not in control, i'm out of control and I will try to grab hold of the situation which makes it worst. Relaxing my mind of these thoughts will have to be practice for me, because it is something I would like to change in my life.

I use to say i'm use to being disappointed, let down or hurt by someone I fell in love with. All of which I thought was negative, as time passed I've come to realize that it was all a blessing in disguised. Every hardship that I couldn't control had become my pain, struggling to live with it because I felt like there was nothing I can do. I learned that without those pain in my life I wouldn't be where I am today. Yeah life can be better or completely different but I am truly thankful for my life. Those "pains" has taught me life is full I control every aspect of myself! I can live a bad life or a happy life so why choose bad? I feel like there is always something to be thankful for and everyday I wake up I will start my day telling myself that. I WILL choose to live happy and not bad.

it's your life you choose how you'd like to live it.

Enjoy the Little Things.

There are a lot of people my age who saw their life completely different from when they were kids growing up, I will admit I am one of those people. Having kids, being married and having a career by this age was what I saw and that isn't the case. I went to school thinking I wanted to be a teacher, a counselor, then a person trainer. I've changed my mind a million times and ended up with a general studies degree and not using it. Determined to figure it out I looked into personal training programs, tried other jobs just anything I thought might filled my life and make my future (what I thought) would be better. I was hard on myself the more and more I was letting days just pass by and I still, didn't have the career, or married with kids at the age of 26. I was constantly surrounded by friends that had kids, or had bigger dreams than I could imagine and some in happy relationships. I now realize I've tried so hard to be in control of my future and my life that I wasn't able to enjoy it. I was always finding myself disappointed and unable to fulfill my life with the type of happiness I saw others had, and that was what I based mine on. I thought I should've had more by now, Learning that making the best of everyday as best as you can is where I need to be in my life. I've taken up reading, hikes, photography and of course blogging all that I enjoy. I will always want more for myself and when I find out what that is I will strive for it, but in the meantime I will enjoy my life day to day and make more time for people that are important to me, working hard, and taking time for myself. Don't be in such a rush to figure everything out. Embrace your moment and life will and can surprise you.

Finding Strength through Hardships

Strength

        All my life, I’ve seen or heard about people's hardships. Not an easy topic to talk about, I like to sit back and watch, most of the time it's hard to find a place where it seems like nothing's going right. These last few weeks I’ve witnessed a couple of my friends going through rough patches. The thing about going through hard times is to know that you're not alone, even if you feel alone just know someone else is going through something as well.

      Loss can be the biggest change in your life, and loss doesn’t always have to be negative. A lot of people forget that you can’t change things that have already happened, the best thing you can do is accepting it and moving forward. Moving on is not easy, you’ll feel like something is missing but, that is why memories are such a beautiful thing. let those memories shape you, let it helps create you learn from it, grow from it. Life doesn’t have to be hard. Life is precious live it, embrace it don't let it get you down. And if it does don't let it keep you there.

     Like everyone else I also have gone through hardships, the one thing I’ve learned so far about them is to use it as fuel for motivation. Use that sadness, anger or emptiness as motivation to live your life to the absolute fullest. I’ve done more in the past year than I ever done before in my life. Remember the good times but never forget to have more good times.

      

Learning from Life

                                                  Who am I in this world? 


It gets hard trying to find a place in this world, but I do believe everyone here has a purpose. There is a reason why we are all here. We get so wrapped up in the life we want or wish we had, but you can lose yourself searching. I've felt like I didn't know who I was because I was always living my life for others. I would push away things that truly interested me, because it seemed like no one was into the same things as I was, and I didn't like the idea of me being different. I'm realizing that the life I had before was what everyone wanted from me and expected me to do. As I got older I met new people and reconnected with some from my past. Listening to everyone's stories and how each person looks at life was eye opening. I connected with some by having things in common with them and others that I didn't have anything in common with I was able to learn from. It's okay to have disagreements it's okay to have your interests and others to have theirs. I am able to take something from each person I interact with I just have to be willing to listen and try to understand their point of view, once you do that you'd be surprised and a whole new world could be opened up to you. Life to me is meant to be enjoyable with learning experiences on the way. Everyone has a purpose you can teach or be taught that this world is seen differently in everyone's eyes.

Take some time for yourself

I know that everyone may live a busy life but taking time to yourself even if it's a second can help keep your mind at peace. I been working a lot and once a week I try to go on a walk and reflect on the week I had before, I've also been journaling for months now just to get everything out on paper and being able to reflect back on things I wrote and felt months ago has helped me with moving forward in my life. I can see how much I've grown and how far I've gotten, if its a month, a week, or even a day ago. I just take it one day at a time. Time does heal many wounds. Please if you're having a stressful week take some time for yourself. It's the best thing you can do. ❤️  

I took this picture by the waterfront in Vancouver Washington while going on my walk.

why blog now?

I started a blog!! I'm super excited to share my life on here, This is my way of showing the things that I think about but out loud. I hope I can encourage everyone to just go for it and chase dreams and do what makes you happy! This is definitely my first step.


My name is Anastasia Nem,
I'm 25 years old born in Fresno California but raised in Portland Oregon
My main reason why I wanted to start a blog is to share my experiences in my life. With this platform I can share the things that makes me happy, what motivates me, finding my faith through hardships and what keeps me wanting to learn more! I am a true believer in chasing dreams and doing what makes you happy. I hope by making this blog you can take something from it, and hopefully help others thrive for what truly makes you happy.


yours truly,

NEMARMY